FIGHTING FOR THE HEART
Create a culture of unconditional love in your home to fuel the
emotional and moral health of your children.
Most of us are unaware of the
stories we write every day. We go through life and make the decisions we need
to make and do the things we need to do to get through the day and care for our
families. But whether we realize it or not, we choose who we interact with and
what role we play in other people’s lives. In other words, we choose how we
play a part in other people’s stories in both our words and our actions.
And sometimes it’s easy to
simply bow out, to feel like we no longer have a role in someone’s
life—especially in the life of a teen. But here is one man’s story about how
his dad found a way to take a new supporting role in his life, even if it meant
intentionally choosing to be a part of it in a way he may never have imagined
doing.
A Supporting Role
by Jon Williams
When I was growing up, I always remember how sports played a big role
in the family. My dad had grown up playing High School baseball and football
and my brother, who is eight years older, kind of followed in his footsteps. My
brother did it all. Football. Baseball. Track. Soccer. He was a pretty good
all-around athlete.
Growing up, I always watched my dad attend my brother’s various sports
competitions, and, if he got the chance, he would always end up being an
assistant coach or head coach of the team my brother was playing on. Which was
cool. Looking back, I see how that gave my brother and my dad some time to bond
and something to talk about. Something to be guys about.
Now, having my brother as my hero, I tried following in his footsteps.
I mean, I really do love sports. I’m a fanatic about football. My dad was
pretty jazzed to have me go out for various sports teams and when I made them,
it was an instant bonding moment. I’m not a complete klutz or anything. I was
somewhat athletically gifted. Dad was always more than happy to go in the
backyard and throw the ball around and work on mechanics and fundamentals. It
was great. We connected like he and my brother did. But, then something
happened.
As much as I love sports, I found myself drifting toward another
extracurricular activity in Middle and High School.
Theatre.
I loved it. I loved acting. I loved telling stories, and anybody who
knew me then knew I loved to talk. So, theatre just became a place where I
excelled.
But it was a place my dad knew very little about.
I don’t know what my dad ever thought about my being involved in
theatre when I first started. He’s not a judgmental man or someone who throws
around stereotypes or anything, but it just wasn’t something he grew up with
and . . . it wasn’t a competitive sport.
It was . . . the arts.
But my father, a man whom I love deeply and who I know loves me very
much, did something that, at the time, I probably didn’t realize the full
impact of. Something that, now that I am a father myself, I hope I can be for
my children.
See, once I stepped into the theatrical world, my dad didn’t stop being
involved with me, my life or what I loved. And he very easily could have. I
mean, theatre is a far cry from the sporting world. But, instead, he decided to
do whatever it took to be involved in my life. Now, he didn’t go out and start
taking theatre classes or start wearing tights around the house (thank
goodness—how you’d explain that to friends and neighbors, I’d never know), BUT
he chose to connect with me, bond with me . . . through what I liked to do.
My dad and a couple of other dads got together and formed a group that
helped build the sets for various productions I was in. They called themselves
THE CREW. They had T-shirts and everything made up. They even stamped the
bottom of every set piece they made with their logo. It was hysterical. And he
never missed a performance. I could always hear him laugh in the audience, too.
I would quietly beam in the wings when I heard him out there.
And now that I look back on that time, I think how lucky I am. I had a
dad who, despite not having ever been involved with theatre in his life, took
what skills he had and used them to stay connected with me, his son. Where some
fathers might have been bent out of shape because their sons chose to pursue
something a little out of the norm, my dad jumped in with two feet and was
always there to let me know he supported me and that he would do anything he
could to help me excel at whatever I wanted to do.
I hope to be like that with my kids. I hope my dreams for my children
never trump my children’s dreams. I hope that I will have the insight my father
had in choosing to help me become who God was shaping me to be instead of
trying to make me into who my dad wanted me to be.
My dad is a hero in my eyes. A role model. Just an awesome dad.
It’s his constant pursuit for a relationship with me, in whatever I
did, that is a constant reminder of how God, my Heavenly Father, pursues me.
It’s my dad’s ability to cheer for me, even when it wasn’t from a stadium
bleacher, that is a reminder of how God is with me in any situation. Cheering
me. Laughing the loudest from the audience.
I like sports, I do. I like theatre more. But I love my dad, and I
know, without a doubt, my dad has always and will always love me.
What role will you play in your
child’s life? His story, her story, is one you still have a part to play. But
it just may be that have to write yourself into their story in a way that is
different than you would expect. It may not be the way you planned, or a way
that feels natural to you. But it may just be the way they need, and something
they will never forget.
