Fighting for the Heart

FIGHTING FOR THE HEART

Create a culture of unconditional love in your home to fuel the emotional and moral health of your children.

Most of us are unaware of the stories we write every day. We go through life and make the decisions we need to make and do the things we need to do to get through the day and care for our families. But whether we realize it or not, we choose who we interact with and what role we play in other people’s lives. In other words, we choose how we play a part in other people’s stories in both our words and our actions.

And sometimes it’s easy to simply bow out, to feel like we no longer have a role in someone’s life—especially in the life of a teen. But here is one man’s story about how his dad found a way to take a new supporting role in his life, even if it meant intentionally choosing to be a part of it in a way he may never have imagined doing.

A Supporting Role

by Jon Williams

When I was growing up, I always remember how sports played a big role in the family. My dad had grown up playing High School baseball and football and my brother, who is eight years older, kind of followed in his footsteps. My brother did it all. Football. Baseball. Track. Soccer. He was a pretty good all-around athlete.

Growing up, I always watched my dad attend my brother’s various sports competitions, and, if he got the chance, he would always end up being an assistant coach or head coach of the team my brother was playing on. Which was cool. Looking back, I see how that gave my brother and my dad some time to bond and something to talk about. Something to be guys about.

Now, having my brother as my hero, I tried following in his footsteps. I mean, I really do love sports. I’m a fanatic about football. My dad was pretty jazzed to have me go out for various sports teams and when I made them, it was an instant bonding moment. I’m not a complete klutz or anything. I was somewhat athletically gifted. Dad was always more than happy to go in the backyard and throw the ball around and work on mechanics and fundamentals. It was great. We connected like he and my brother did. But, then something happened.

As much as I love sports, I found myself drifting toward another extracurricular activity in Middle and High School.

Theatre.

I loved it. I loved acting. I loved telling stories, and anybody who knew me then knew I loved to talk. So, theatre just became a place where I excelled.

But it was a place my dad knew very little about.

I don’t know what my dad ever thought about my being involved in theatre when I first started. He’s not a judgmental man or someone who throws around stereotypes or anything, but it just wasn’t something he grew up with and . . . it wasn’t a competitive sport.

It was . . . the arts.

But my father, a man whom I love deeply and who I know loves me very much, did something that, at the time, I probably didn’t realize the full impact of. Something that, now that I am a father myself, I hope I can be for my children.

See, once I stepped into the theatrical world, my dad didn’t stop being involved with me, my life or what I loved. And he very easily could have. I mean, theatre is a far cry from the sporting world. But, instead, he decided to do whatever it took to be involved in my life. Now, he didn’t go out and start taking theatre classes or start wearing tights around the house (thank goodness—how you’d explain that to friends and neighbors, I’d never know), BUT he chose to connect with me, bond with me . . . through what I liked to do.

My dad and a couple of other dads got together and formed a group that helped build the sets for various productions I was in. They called themselves THE CREW. They had T-shirts and everything made up. They even stamped the bottom of every set piece they made with their logo. It was hysterical. And he never missed a performance. I could always hear him laugh in the audience, too. I would quietly beam in the wings when I heard him out there.

And now that I look back on that time, I think how lucky I am. I had a dad who, despite not having ever been involved with theatre in his life, took what skills he had and used them to stay connected with me, his son. Where some fathers might have been bent out of shape because their sons chose to pursue something a little out of the norm, my dad jumped in with two feet and was always there to let me know he supported me and that he would do anything he could to help me excel at whatever I wanted to do.

I hope to be like that with my kids. I hope my dreams for my children never trump my children’s dreams. I hope that I will have the insight my father had in choosing to help me become who God was shaping me to be instead of trying to make me into who my dad wanted me to be.

My dad is a hero in my eyes. A role model. Just an awesome dad.

It’s his constant pursuit for a relationship with me, in whatever I did, that is a constant reminder of how God, my Heavenly Father, pursues me. It’s my dad’s ability to cheer for me, even when it wasn’t from a stadium bleacher, that is a reminder of how God is with me in any situation. Cheering me. Laughing the loudest from the audience.

I like sports, I do. I like theatre more. But I love my dad, and I know, without a doubt, my dad has always and will always love me.

What role will you play in your child’s life? His story, her story, is one you still have a part to play. But it just may be that have to write yourself into their story in a way that is different than you would expect. It may not be the way you planned, or a way that feels natural to you. But it may just be the way they need, and something they will never forget.